Women have incredible sexual potential. Female sexuality has traditionally been minimized, but for the benefit of one’s wholeness, and for the strength of one’s marriage, an awakening of one’s sexuality within marriage becomes vital.
Sexual satisfaction may seem unimportant to the wife who has not yet made it a priority. Nevertheless, sexual development in marriage goes to the heart of one’s wholeness and personal development. It ultimately allows for the ecstasy of mutual enjoyment in marriage. This is God’s intended gift.
In order to empower women to reap the blessings of sexual wholeness and marital oneness, we must know what it is we are working toward. What are the secrets of sexually satisfied wives? If it is our intention to become sexually whole in our marriages, what are the characteristics of a sexually satisfied wife that we too can develop?
1. Likes and Accepts Herself. The sexually satisfied wife likes who she is and makes peace with herself. Having a sexy state of mind means that she can say to her husband, “I like who I am and I’m happy to share it with you!
2. Embraces sexuality. The sexually satisfied wife embraces and takes responsibility for her sexuality. She makes it a priority. She sees her sexuality as good and important not only for her marriage but also as an important part of her beingness and her wholeness. She has learned to find pleasure in the physicalness of the sexual dimension of marriage.
3. Nurtures the relationship. She nurtures the relationship with her spouse and willingly addresses issues as they arise so that they don’t grow and fester. She understands that how connected she feels emotionally towards her spouse affects how she feels sexually. She does what she needs to nurture feelings of love and friendship.
4. Overcomes inhibitions. She works to overcome the inhibiting beliefs and barriers that may keep her from enjoying the sexual relationship with her husband. She works to reprogram those thoughts and beliefs that are counterproductive to feelings of emotional connection and sexual arousal.
5. Nurtures sexual feelings. She makes it a priority to nurture sexual thoughts and feelings towards her spouse. She understands that with her unique wiring, sexual feelings and desires are more consciously acquired.
6. Sexually educated. She willingly takes an active role in getting educated about this dimension of marriage. She understands and accepts the differences in sexual wiring between herself and her husband, as well as the different paths to arousal each may experience.
7. Makes peace with her body. Sexually satisfied wives make peace with their bodies and appearance and also do what they can to look their best. They put effort into their health and appearance through exercise, eating healthily, getting enough sleep, and dressing attractively. They make the best of what they have. They also accept that there are some things they can’t change about their appearance and have learned to be okay with it.
8. Is fun and playful. The sexually satisfied wife maintains an element of fun and playfulness in the relationship. Even amidst the demands of life, she makes the effort to tease and be playful with her husband. They know each other well and enjoy each other’s presence.
9. Knows what she needs. She spends time learning and practicing together with her husband until they have identified what turns her on, and what kind of stimulation she needs to regularly experience orgasm.
10. Communicates. She’s learned to communicate with her husband without being reactive so that delicate subjects such as sex can be discussed. She’s willing to ask questions and share personal preferences to help her husband learn how to sexually engage and excite her.
11. Likes to touch. She likes to touch. Sexually satisfied wives see to it that there is plenty of touching going on in their marriage. She takes responsibility, if need be, to see that there is enough non-sexual touch and affection outside the bedroom as well as within.
12. Surrenders to the passion. She’s learned how to relax and let go within lovemaking. She is willing and able to surrender to the all-encompassing experience of sexual pleasure and is in tune with her sensuousness. While it may seem paradoxical, the sexually satisfied wife not only surrenders herself to the sensual experience but she also actively engages in experiencing and expressing her passion.
13. Takes responsibility for self. The sexually satisfied wife takes responsibility for her happiness and well-being and keeps her focus on things she can do to improve the marriage and sexual relationship. She knows that how she feels about herself affects how she feels sexually. She is regularly working on aspects of herself that she’d like to change, which keeps her from getting caught up in trying to change her spouse.
These secrets of sexually satisfied wives can show us how we too can be empowered to experience and enjoy sexual wholeness and the sexual potential God created in marriage.
Check out the links below to learn how you can create a Sextraordinary Marriage!
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Raising the Bar on Date Night” (March 5, 2020)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Rocket Fuel for Female Desire” (Jan 17, 2020)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “4 Keys to be Honeymoon Ready” (Dec 4, 2019)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Help for Higher-Desire Wives” (May 17, 2019)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Toolbox for Tackling Depression” (Mar 15, 2019)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Is Your Husband on Your To Do List?” (Feb 15, 2019)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Don’t Forget Your Honey During the Holidays” (Nov 30, 2018)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Sexy as a State of Mind” (Aug 30, 2018)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “7 Characteristics of Healthy Sexuality” (July 29, 2019)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage” (Feb 2, 2018)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “From No to Go: How to Prepare Young Adults for a Healthy Sex Life” (Dec 8, 2017)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “His Needs/Her Needs” (Nov 3, 2017)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “How To Boost Intimacy in Your Marriage” (Apr 14, 2017)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Brain Power in the Bedroom” (Nov 11, 2016)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage” (Sep 9, 2016)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship in Marriage” (Sep 25, 2009)
- VIDEO – KSL Interview — “Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Wives” (Feb 13, 2009)