The Beauty of Sexual Surrender — Sexual Success Story #7 — Strengthening Marriage.com
Laura, I am happy to share my experience with learning to surrender myself to my husband, and the exquisite sexual experience. I now understand why you are so passionate about sexual intimacy in marriage. I never knew what I was missing. Now, I won’t ever have to miss out again!
Just a few short years ago the term “sexual surrender” would have sent me into a tailspin. Both of those words are loaded with negativity, hurt and pain. Putting the two words together in a positive form, would have been unthinkable. It wasn’t until I learned how to change my feelings about sex and sexual enjoyment from an unnecessary evil, and negative part of life, to something I now yearn for with my spouse.
Sexuality, for me, had been a trigger. Coming from an abusive background, I used to associate anything having to do with sex as bad, wrong, hurtful, violating and ugly. Surrender used to mean giving in, giving up, and being overcome with darkness. When I was young, I had to walk a fine line between surrendering just enough that I wouldn’t get hurt any worse than I already was, and giving in completely to that darkness.
Sexually surrendering to any man was just not an option for me–that is until recently. I have had so many preconceived notions of what sex meant, or was supposed to be. I never once imagined that it could ever be anything beautiful, joyful, and exquisite, nor something I longed for more of in my life.
It has taken me many years to overcome my past, in order to be fully present with my husband when making love. He has been so patient with me, as I have learned to bury my past, and embrace a bright and beautiful future. Sexually surrendering to my husband is now a very sacred and beautiful experience. This is definitely something that requires effort and practice. It has been a learned behavior.
For me, I first had to overcome my sexual abuse, and all of the atrocities that happened to me. It has not been easy. Next I had to learn that I was still beautiful and lovable and someone worth loving in that way. I still have to work on being fully present, at times, during lovemaking. I can always tell when those walls are up. Sometimes all it takes is doing a quick mental check in to fully let go of whatever is holding me back. I remind myself that I am safe, loved, wanted, and cared for.
Being able to give this gift of sexual surrender to my husband and myself has made all the difference in the world to me. It gives me a sense of honor and dignity. I feel so much closer to God. Today I look at my sexuality as a beautiful, glorious gift that was given to me by God. Surrendering to it is now empowering, rather than something to be feared.
The intimate times when I am able to fully engage and completely surrender to my husband are some of the most sacred and beautiful experiences I have ever had as a woman. It is a glorious gift that we all can have with time, patience, love, and supporting one another in the process.
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