Josef and Krista
Married 13 years
It all began when I was 16 and dating this guy. One day this guy introduced me to his best friend, Joe (whom he called his “brother”). Over the next couple months I got to know Josef more, and he quickly became one of my best friends too.
Josef didn’t like the way that his “brother” was treating me. (Josef had a secret crush on me …) He told his “brother” that he needed to either start treating me better or he needed to break up with me. Josef was told “Well, you’ll see her before I will. Why don’t you just tell her I don’t want to date her anymore.”
This worked to Josef’s advantage better than he could have dreamed, as he could be there to “comfort me” when I received the news. Josef and I started dating soon after that. His “brother” said that we wouldn’t last more than two weeks because we were too different. (*grin*)
Two and a half years later, Josef left to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with a promise from me to wait for him. Well, that didn’t last very long, I’m embarrassed to say, as I started dating again. However he remained my best friend.
I was at the airport when he got home, and the moment he got off the airplane I realized what I’d done. I wanted so badly to have him back, but was afraid I’d messed things up already. Little did I know that he was determined to win me back. (*grin*)
One day a friend of ours broke off her engagement to her fiance, and the reason she gave was that she didn’t have with her fiance even half the relationship that Josef and I did, and we weren’t even dating anymore. Well, that got us both thinking … Josef was able to get up the gumption to tell me how he really still felt about me.
All my life, my parents had a sign hanging in the kitchen that said “Joy is being married to your best friend.” Josef was still my best friend. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. When we sat down to talk about things, I was so excited I could hardly stand it! We were engaged less than two weeks later, and married within three months after that!
It’s been almost 13 years and 6 births later. We are still so glad that we made the decision to get married!
How We Strengthen Our Marriage
Some of what we’ve done to strengthen our marriage:
- We laid a ground rule that our marriage was forever, no matter what. Divorce was never going to be an option, so we barred that word from our vocabulary.
- We studied everything we could get our hands on about the differences in how men and women communicate. We put into practice what we learned. We are still studying and practicing our communication.
- We try to keep an eternal perspective on things. We ask ourselves if this little argument is going to matter in 50 years. If so, we talk it out in a way that the other person can easily understand. If not, we let it go.
Josef is still my best friend, and I am so grateful that I get to share eternity with him.
This is one of the “How We Met” stories featured here on “Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog.” You can enter to win a Romantic Getaway to The Anniversary Inn by sending us a favorite photo of you and your spouse, and/or a wedding or engagement photo, by Saturday, February 14th, 2009. Tell us the story of how you met, how many years you’ve been married, plus something you do to strengthen your marriage (500 words or less). Send your photo and story here.