Good Girls Don’t
One of the trends I continue to see in my work with couples is that there is still an ingrained belief and something of a cultural norm that says, “Good girls don’t.”
The idea is that good girls shouldn’t think about sex. Or that good girls don’t do sex, which prior to marriage is true. But the problem occurs when that gets carried over into marriage.
The lie is that good girls don’t read or learn about sex, nor do they ever fully embrace or develop their sexuality even within marriage. Many men struggle with similar beliefs wreaking havoc in their lives as well. Good girls are certainly not supposed to enjoy sex either.
Sex isn’t Satan’s Domain
Satan has made sex his realm. He’s usurped the whole thing as if sex has nothing to do with God and goodness at all. His counterfeit message is one of sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone. He’s even used the strength of good people against them to keep them far away from the subject altogether. He’s made it such taboo territory that few are willing to even attempt to restore its divine light.
In our efforts to teach youth that sexual activity is reserved for marriage–that good girls don’t…before marriage–we forget to mention that after marriage good girls do! That mental transition never fully occurs with many couples (wives and husbands included!).
Embracing God-given Sexuality
In order to help couples truly embrace their God-given sexuality as God designed it to be, there must be a restoration of goodness and wholesomeness attached to sex itself. Sexual intimacy is one of God’s great gifts to a husband and wife. Why would He not want us to fully receive and enjoy this gift!
I don’t imagine God’s too happy with Satan destroying something so precious, or having all the airtime about the subject.
Part of the effort to take sex out of the darkness–out of Satan’s territory–and restore it to God’s light is for each of us to do our part in overcoming those negative beliefs we personally hold. Then we need to do what we can to promote sex as a positive and wholesome activity within marriage. I like to refer to it as a “wholesome recreational activity!” : )
Put in a Good Word for Sex
I have been so thrilled to see that many have begun to speak out in defense of sex as a good thing–whether with their friends, their children or in their churches or communities. Just setting an example of confidently, openly and appropriately addressing the subject can go a long way towards changing the energy surrounding the subject.
I encourage us all to watch for opportunities to put in a good word for sex. Sex needs a new public relations team to restore its divine light and luster. We all need to help remind each other that in marriage good girls (and guys) do!