Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! — Saturday Feb 14th
Few things are more enticing than chocolate—especially as a gift for Valentine’s Day. But the sweetness fades and the residual calories often remain. Give your sweetheart something different this year. What’s better than chocolate you ask? How about something from the heart.
Be Her Chocolate Substitute
A friend recently asked me to write “a prescription” for her husband to provide more of a certain loving and thoughtful behavior to help her stop eating chocolate so much. I promptly wrote out the prescription on a napkin and handed it to her with a smile. The husband later told me he was happy to oblige. I started calling him her chocolate substitute!
If we are honest with ourselves we can probably all think of something that we know our spouse would love to receive. We may need to think about it for a moment, but I imagine there’s something you know you can do to strengthen the emotional connection with your spouse to potentially make the emotional need for chocolate less compelling. These from-the-heart gifts may require you to stretch a bit, but that’s what real love is all about.
To give a gift from the heart—one that’s better than chocolate—requires thinking outside of the box. This is no one-size-fits-all Valentine’s Day gift. What can you do to be your spouse’s chocolate substitute? A few ideas might be:
- Holding her hand more often
- Getting the babysitter for Date Night
- Tackling the garage that she’s been longing for you to de-clutter
- Helping her do things that allow her to have more time and energy for intimate time together
- Writing a heart-felt letter of adoration and appreciation
- Kissing her each time you/she get home from work
- Sharing a dream you have for the future
- Fixing the sink that’s been broken for a while
- Packing a lunch for her to take to work
- Responding to her on a heated topic with patience and a desire to see her perspective instead of resorting to anger or the silent treatment
- Saying the words, “I love you,” even if it’s hard for you!
Gifts that Stretch Us
Sometimes the best gifts from the heart are those that may be a little bit difficult for us to give. The sacrifice or stretching the gift requires makes the gift that much more meaningful. And don’t forget to include a written or verbal note to express your love along with your chosen gift, just so no connection is lost between the two! : )
Make a Top 10 List
I’d love to see couples sit down together and create a list of the top ten things that make them feel loved, so that each of them know the specific keys to each others’ hearts. Why not make it as easy as possible for each other to be successful at love.
I remember one woman asked her husband to tell her some things she could do to be a more loving wife. After he did so, she confessed that she had never known the importance of some of the things he suggested. She wished she had asked him that question many years earlier in their marriage.
You can become an expert at loving your spouse in the way they need to be loved. What a wonderful gift to be the chocolate substitute in your sweetheart’s life.
- The Real Secret To Having A Great Valentine’s Day (It’s Not Chocolate!) by Dr. Sue Johnson
I love this thought of being our spouses “Chocolate Substitute”. I was thinking about what flavors we each have in the “boxes” that we desire. I like chocolate covered affection, chocolate covered phone calls and sweet text messages throughout the day. The love of my life, loves chocolate covered small services like me bringing him a cold beverage, serving a nice meal, and/or having a chocolate covered peaceful home. Knowing how to be a “Chocolate Substitute” for the flavors that our spouses desire are forever long lasting. Thank you for the ideas Laura!