Want to know how to fix your spouse?! This is the key! Fix yourself! That’s what brings about change in your spouse. Couples spend a lot of time trying to fix their spouse, but it’s not terribly effective and causes a lot of personal frustration and relationship stress. In this Marriage Message #003 — Focus on Fixing Yourself, Laura M. Brotherson shares some insights to help you avoid this common trap.
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Marriage Message Episode #003 link –
Strengthening Marriage YouTube channel link —
About the Author: Laura M. Brotherson, LMFT, CST, CFLE
Laura M. Brotherson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, Author and Founder of "The Marital Intimacy Institute" with a mission to help couples create "sextraordinary" marriages. She counsels with individuals, couples and families in private practice (and online) and is passionate about helping couples navigate the intricacies of intimacy. She is a pioneer in the field of healthy sexuality especially for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) and is a trusted expert on this delicate topic.
Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as the author of the best-selling books, And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment, Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage, and her latest book --From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage. with nearly 100,000 total copies sold. She also has a fabulous online course for women to help them develop their "Sexual Wholeness."
As a Certified Family Life Educator, Laura is also actively engaged in helping to build strong marriages and families by providing marriage education through Couples Cruises, articles, newsletters, radio and television broadcasts, "The Marital Intimacy Show" podcasts, and presenting at conferences and workshops. Laura is a regular contributor to the KSL Television "Studio 5" morning show.
She and her husband, Kevin, have been married 29 years, have three grown children and are the founders of "StrengtheningMarriage.com" — your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages… intimately!
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You mentioned in the Q&A that it was your husband’s “unending patience” with you that played a large role in your ability to open up and figure things out. How did he exhibit this patience? Was it what he said (or didn’t’ say)? Did he not bring up his own sexual needs unless you did? I’m in it for the long haul and I don’t know how I need to be patient for my wife; she doesn’t respond well to pressure and some things I do to try to help unintentionally ADD more pressure than if I had done nothing. For example, in the past I’ve offered to only have sex when she wants it, but she told me that she would feel pressure of initiating and that she felt like it was shifting all responsibility over to her.
So . . . I’m working on fixing myself. I know I need to she her patience, but how? What do I do?
Correction: I know I need to sSHOW her patience, but how?