Laura's Marriage Newsletter header
     "Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage!"
        e-Newsletter #16 -- January 30, 2006  (#06-1)

1~  MARRIAGE TIP -- "Romancing Your Valentine!"
         * (Win a Romantic Getaway to the Anniversary Inn!) *
"The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children"
3~  EVENTS --
Women's Health Conf; BYU-Idaho Education Week; BYU
        Campus Education Week; Couples W. Caribbean Cruise (Feb '07)
4~  NEWS -- (1) Phone Consultations; (2)
Send Us Your Couples Photos
      and WIN!; (3) Valentine's Day Specials

READER'S REVIEWS -- "One of the best books I have ever read"
6~  STRAIGHT TALK Q&A -- He needs it, and I don't
7~  WORDS TO PONDER -- Love is friendship on fire
Making Marriage Like Work; Sex Calms Nerves

1~  MARRIAGE TIP -- "Romancing Your Valentine!"

Romancing your sweetheart is a great way to keep the flame glowing brightly
in your marriage.
A little playfulness and creativity adds vitality to your
intimate relationship, keeping lovemaking fresh and new. It will touch every
aspect of your life.
What are some ways you can put a sparkle in your
spouse's heart and soul this Valentine's Day?
Get your own creativity
flowing with some of these fun ideas:

Add music (or new music) to your intimate encounters. Create
your own special collection of bedroom music.

Gift wrap yourself in visually inviting attire to nourish the visual
nature of your husband and increase your sensual feelings as well.
Add to your intimate collection regularly to keep things new and

Reserve special silky bedding just for lovemaking.
Change the routine/Do something new! If you usually begin
clothed, begin unclothed instead; if you usually begin unclothed, try
undressing each other first. Try different positions.

Make love with more light or less light than usual.
Try a new time of day for intimate relations. Surprise yourself and
your spouse by inviting him/her home for a lunchtime rendezvous.
You may not only be adding variety to your intimate life, but also be
fulfilling your spouse's fantasies at the same time!

Try a new location. Sex doesn’t have to always be in the bedroom.
Spread a blanket on the bedroom closet floor. Try the office (make
sure you lock the door!). Shower or take a Jacuzzi bath together.
Have fun together!

Use colored light bulbs in your bedroom lamp for a sensual

Use scented candles. Keep a supply of delicious candles on hand.
Wear perfume or cologne. Try different ones.
Stretch yourself to “gift” your spouse with something you know
your spouse would like. You may be surprised at your spouse’s
willingness to “gift” you with your heart’s desires in return.

Schedule regular overnight getaways. Our favorite place is the
Anniversary Inn (located in Utah and Idaho). You've just got to see
their incredible, romantic, themed rooms. Whether you choose the
"Enchanted Forest" or the "Romeo and Juliet" suite, you'll
into another world
where you can relax in your own jetted tub and
bask in the romance and delight. Check out each of the suites by
going online at:

*** WIN A ROMANTIC GETAWAY ***  One lucky couple will
receive a free one-night stay at the Anniversary Inn of their
choice, in the room of their choice! Enjoy complimentary
cheesecake, sparkling cider, and freshly baked breakfast
delivered to your door. To enter the drawing, send us your
favorite couples photo by Febuary 28th (see "Couples Photos"
under the "News" section below for more information). The
winning couple will be drawn and notified the beginning of
Engage in some pillow talk to brainstorm additional ways you can both add
more variety and vitality to your love and lovemaking. So much fun and
pleasure exists within God’s ordained realm of sexual relations in marriage.

(From Chapter 6 of the book, "And They Were Not Ashamed--
Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment

2~  ARTICLE -- "The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children"

Check out Laura's latest magazine article on the greatest gift we can give
our children:

"The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children"
    by Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE, Meridian Magazine, December 28, 2005
    also available at, January 17, 2006

One of the best gifts we can give our children is a mother and father that
love each other. Parents who maintain a strong and vibrant marriage set a
positive example of the inevitable ups and downs of marriage, while also
showing that problems can be worked through. This creates a haven of
security and well-being from which children can flourish.

To read past articles, visit our "Articles" web page at:

3~  AUTHOR EVENTS -- Women's Health Conf; BYU-Idaho Ed Week;
BYU Campus Ed Week; Couples W. Caribbean Cruise (Feb '07)

"Women in Motion" Health Conference
Saturday, March 18, 2006, 9 - 5:30 p.m. (Delta, Utah)
Presentation Topics:
   ~ "Good Girls Don't" and Other Intimate Inhibitors
   ~ "Sexy is a State of Mind--Cultivating Intimate Desire for Your Spouse"
Register online before March 4 and receive $20 off:

BYU Idaho Education Week

June 29 - July 1, 2006 (Rexburg, Idaho)
Presentation Series Title: "Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage"

BYU Campus Education Week
August 21 - 25, 2006, BYU Campus (Provo, Utah)
Presentation Series Title: "Understanding the Intricacies of ONEness in

Valentine’s Day Week -- Couples W. Caribbean Cruise

February 10-17, 2007 (Leaving from Galveston, TX)
Headliner -- Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE, Author of "And They Were
                  Not Ashamed"

If you missed out on joining us for this year's Couples Cruise to the E.
Caribbean, you can plan now to join us for next year's Couples Cruise to the
W. Caribbean! Make it an annual marriage celebration tradition to join us for
this Valentine's Day Week Cruise.
~ Prices start at $857 per person
To be a part of this group call Cruise Planners at 801-446-4218 or

For additional information about each of these events, visit our "Events"

4~  NEWS -- (1) Phone Consultations;  (2) Send Us Your Couples Photos
      --and Win!; (3) Valentine's Day Specials

(1)  NEW--Phone Consultations
    We are excited to announce the availability of phone consultations for
individuals and couples! I apologize that I have yet to respond to over 150
people who have emailed me with questions. My intention in making phone
consultations available is to more quickly and effectively respond, within my
time constraints, to the desire that exists for additional information on the
delicate and sacred aspects of marital intimacy. Speaking is easier and
quicker than writing, so I hope to be able to respond to all who would like
further discussion on any aspect of the intimate/sexual relationship within

Individuals and couples have few options in seeking helpful, personal
assistance with creating a healthy intimate relationship in their marriage.
By providing phone consultations I hope to address this vital need.

Here's what one couple had to say:
"My wife and I think your phone consultations are a great idea! Your
book was the best we've ever read, but there's just no way the book
could compare to our four phone visits with you where we've been
able to discuss personal issues and solutions. You've really helped
us! In our conversations you've been discreet and sensitive, yet also
open and frank. We appreciated how you immediately put us at ease
by your laugh and saying, "Don't worry, there's nothing you're going
to ask that will embarrass me, or that I haven't heard before!" It's
nice to know we're talking with someone so professional that we can
trust to keep things confidential, and who has understood and
incorporated our values and beliefs. You are filling a huge void, so
that couples have a place to go for help on this crucial subject. We
think you are the best thing that's come along since sliced bread!"

                                                     --H.B. and J.B., St. George, UT
For more information and to schedule a half-hour consultation for $55 visit:

(2)  Send Us Your Couples Photos -- and Win a Romantic Getaway!
    We've received lots of great couples photos, but we want to encourage
you to send in your favorite photo as well. One lucky couple will be drawn to
receive a romantic getaway to the Anniversary Inn, so grab a digital camera
or get a special couples portrait taken for this upcoming Valentine's Day.
This could be a great activity for you and your spouse to have a husband/wife
picture taken, especially if you don't have many pictures of just you two.
us your favorite one to be posted on our website as a special
Valentine's Day celebration of your marriage!
(Send it by February 28th to
be included in the drawing.) We want to continue to build a "Strengthening
Marriage" showcase of loving couples to highlight the marital unit as the
crucial component of the family and society.

Send your photo with your first names, and how many years you've been
married to: You can check
out the "Couples Photos" page here:

(3)  Valentine's Day Special Prices
    Strengthen your marriage and enjoy special savings for you and your
sweetheart. Take advantage of our Valentine's Day discount prices on the
book and/or audio book,
"And They Were Not Ashamed--Strengthening
Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment"
--makes a great Valentine's Day gift!
(Special pricing available when ordering online through
Softcover book                   $14.95 (reg. $17.95)
Hardcover book                  $19.95 (reg. $22.95)
CD Audio book (12 CDs)     $29.95 (reg. $39.95)

To stay current on "What's New" on the
website visit:

5~  READER'S REVIEWS -- "One of the best books I have ever read"
"Laura Brotherson's book "And They Were Not Ashamed" is one of
the best books I have ever read. Laura takes on the sensitive, yet
crucial topic of marital intimacy with great reverence and candor using
gospel principles and Christian-based teachings. No other book
(apart from the scriptures) in my memory has had such an impact
on my life. Though written especially for women, this book is equally
as informative and helpful for husbands to help them better
understand the intimate needs and concerns of their wives (emotional
needs and the female sexual response). Men can also benefit by
learning to overcome their own inhibitions and misunderstandings
about sex. Read it together as a couple! Laura's book covers not
only physical intimacy, but emotional and spiritual as well. It also
discusses the great importance of teaching our children correct
principles about sex and how to go about teaching them. I highly
recommend this book to all married couples and those planning for
marriage. It really will turn your intimate life as a couple around and
bring you much closer together."

We welcome you to share your thoughts about the book "And They Were
Not Ashamed" at:

6~  STRAIGHT TALK Q&A -- He needs it, and I don't

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. I love my husband
dearly, but we have hit a bump in the road in regards to our sex life, and I
don't know how to fix it. We regularly disagree about how often he needs
"it" and I don't. We have tried talking it out, but the issue never seems to
get resolved. I know there are other things in our relationship that hinder
this process, so I am at my wits end as to how to help us through this.
Can you help, or direct me to someone?

Sexual issues are generally rooted in complex, multi-dimensional aspects
of the marriage. M
y first suggestion is to read the book "And They Were
Not Ashamed--Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment"
if possible (or read it separately, if you can't do it together). Begin doing
the homework suggestions, applying the principles with a focus on yourself
NOT on your spouse. (Remember you can only change yourself.)
This book
addresses all dimensions of the intimate relationship--the emotional,
spiritual, and physical/sexual--with homework to help you get to the roots
of the issues. This
is certainly a common dilemma of "he wants more,"
"she wants less." You are not alone.

Secondly I would suggest checking with some local counselors who might
be able to help you through these challenges. You can contact your local

LDS Family Services office
or search for counselors at
You can also use the
American Association of Marriage and Family
Therapists (
AAMFT) therapist locator for a list of marriage counselors in
your area (

I'd also recommend checking out the Marriage Friendly Therapists Registry

to be sure you find a marriage
counselor that is pro-marriage and pro-commitment. Not all marriage
counselors are created equal. You want a counselor that is most likely to
help you succeed at marriage, rather than one who will merely help you get
out when the going gets tough.

Call around to some of the counselors until you find a good fit. See the
Appendix in my book for other suggestions on how to find a good therapist.
You'll find some questions to ask the therapists to "interview" them to find
the right one for you. Be prayerful about finding one who can help you best,
and you'll find them.

I think you'll begin to better understand the dynamics at play in your
relationship, as you'll read our book and begin to apply the counsel.  It's too
much to address in a brief email here, but I believe you'll be touched by the
things that will be most helpful for your relationship. Know that happiness
and mutual enjoyment in marriage is possible, and is waiting for you!

To check out other questions and answers visit our Q&A webpage at:

7~  WORDS TO PONDER -- Love is friendship on fire
"Love is friendship on fire."

8~  MARRIAGE NEWS -- Making Marriage Like Work;
      Sex Calms Nerves

"Marriage News" is a new feature being added to this strengthening marriage
newsletter to share some of today's latest insights and happenings regarding
marriage-related topics. We hope you enjoy keeping current with the latest
marriage news!


Making Marriage (Like) Work
Author Says Men Can Succeed by Treating It Like a Job
By Craig Stoltz, Washington Post Staff Writer, Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and Brown University professor, has been
studying marriages good and bad for a long time, both in his clinical work
and via his Web site, . His new book,
"The Secrets of Happily Married Men" (Jossey-Bass, 2006), collects what
he says are the guy behaviors that lead to happy marriage. As his Web
site says, he's "out to save marriages, one husband at a time."

...Anyway, following are the eight guy "secrets" Haltzman shares:

1. Make Marriage Your Job.
2. Know Your Wife.
3. Be Home Now.
4. Expect Conflict; Deal With It.
5. Learn to Listen.
6. Aim to Please.
7. Understand the Truth About Sex.
8. Introduce yourself.

To read the entire article (copy and paste link without any spaces/breaks
into web browser):


Sex Calms Nerves before Public Speaking
- study Wed Jan 25, 2:26 PM ET
LONDON (Reuters) Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley
in Scotland, studied nearly 50 men and women who recorded their sexual
activities for two weeks and analyzed its impact on their blood pressure
levels when under acute stress, such as when giving a speech. Brody
discovered that the volunteers who had sexual intercourse were the least
stressed..."The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief
afforded by orgasm but rather, endure for at least a week," Brody told New
Scientist magazine. He believes that the release of the so-called "pair
bonding" hormone oxytocin might explain the calming effect.

To read the entire story:

Stay tuned for more intimacy insights in upcoming Strengthening Marriage
Newsletters...! Visit the e-Newsletter archive at:

If you missed the last few newsletters, you can catch up here:
"Being Sexual Best Friends" -- Newsltr #15

"Secrets of the Female Sexual Response" -- Newsltr #14

"Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage" is an electronic newsletter
designed to bless lives, strengthen marriages, and build strong families—
written by the author of the book "And They Were Not Ashamed —
Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment
." Visit for excerpts and articles, or to place an order.
The author welcomes your feedback at

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