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We welcome your comments about our books and CDs, this website, our newsletters, and author events, etc. If you would like to post a question for feedback or discussion, please post it on our "Open Forum 3 Discussions" page at "Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog."
Praise the Lord and pass the book! I heard of it for the first time a few minutes ago and already have ordered it on-line from Deseret Book. I can hardly wait for it to arrive.
I recently retired as a science writer and plan to dust off and publish 20 or more years of research under the general rubric of the origins and evolution of Christian sexual ethics. Today's Christians, including Mormons, will recoil from my findings, which are that many of our "Christian" sexual ethics are of pagan origin.
I hope as a marriage counselor that you have advised couples to kneel in prayer together, to give thanx for the wonders of their bodies and to ask God to bless the union they are about to partake of.
If your book is half as good as people say it is, may sales top the charts!
Date:
February 8 2005
Name:
Todd
Comments:
Laura?I noticed the other day that our local LDS Family Services counselor is using your book in some of his counseling. He says to tell you thanks for your efforts and professionalism. One of our professors of Human Sexuality is also using parts of your book in his course at the university as well. Nice job!
Date:
February 7 2005
Name:
TK from California
Comments:
I appreciate your efforts in supporting stronger marriages, and have read and benefited by your writings. I feel that your book is a seminal turning point in LDS self-help resources. It is unique in weaving together the essentiality of spiritual intimacy in marriage to establishing an enduring physical and emotional relationship, offering practical advice on understanding and finding joy within the differences between men and women in a clear, accessible writing style. Should there be anything I might contribute to the cause please feel free to contact me. (I already subscribe to your site's newsletter, thanks!) Blessings to you!
Date:
January 30 2005
Name:
Velinda
Comments:
First I'd like to THANK you for having the courage to take on your issues and then to write your book! I've been married for 28 years and experienced challenges relating to "The Good Girl Syndrome" all those long years. I'm a registered nurse, and intellectually knew that I should "know better" than to feel this way. I've grown up in the church and spiritually knew that I should "know better". Yet that pre-training and life programming of my parents' modeling and well-intended church teachings would not leave me. I have read most of the LDS/Christian literature available, and still could not shake loose from the shackles. One thing that is different with your book is that it is written by a WOMAN and you have taken the scriptural, prophetic, and literary information and applied it to your personal experience. That is one thing a man cannot do, no matter how many women he counsels. I'm grateful to say that it is making a difference in my life. Thank you so very much, it is long past due. I immediately bought copies for my three married children and just ordered another one to give to a friend. I have no doubt your book will be a classic.
Date:
January 22 2005
Name:
Grateful in Colorado
Comments:
Your book is indeed an answered prayer for me and countless other Christian women. Thank you so much for being brave enough to address this subject. I started reading last night and had to force myself to put it down at the end of chapter 3, to take time to absorb it all. I woke up this morning with the strongest desire to give you a great big HUG!
The "Good Girl Syndrome" must affect millions of women, even those that don't consider themselves "good girls". I was especially happy and relieved to read one simple statement that opened doors for me. GOD APPROVES OF SEX and (here is the crucial point) WANTS YOU TO ENJOY IT! Logic has always told me that God approves of sex. It's how we make babies, it's what draws men and women together. Adam and Eve had sex or no one would be here today to worry about it! But for most of my adult life what I reasoned was that it is "OK" to "let" your husband have intercourse with you. Wanting to be kissed and touched or becoming aroused myself was something I was ashamed to express. During the times I got turned on and found enjoyment in sex it was barely over when I would begin to wonder if God was disappointed in my behavior.
I can't over emphasis how much that simple comment, WANTS YOU TO ENJOY IT, makes the point of your book come alive for me. Thank you again for being so insightful. I can't put the book down! It's like you are answering every question I was never able to put into words.
On a much lighter note, the picture of you and your husband on the back cover made me chuckle and say out loud, "Well, I can see why Sis Brotherson has learned to enjoy sex. Kevin is a gorgeous man!" He looks a lot like Donny Osmond and I grew up with warm loving feelings for Donny. LOL
Words can never express the gratitude I feel for this book, so please, never doubt that you are changing marriages (and women's lives) in a very marvelous way.
PS I am getting each of my daughters their own copies of the book because mine has too many personal notes in the margins! LOL
Date:
January 14 2005
Name:
Linda Hill
Comments:
Hey, I am looking forward to getting a copy! Off the top of my head, I can think of many couples who would benefit. Take Care--Linda
Date:
January 8 2005
Name:
S.C.
Comments:
Dear Laura,
Your book is exactly what I've been praying for. My husband and I have been married nearly 30 years. We married as teenagers, first time lovers for both of us. Sex wasn't what I had imagined it to be and it quickly became more of a chore than anything for me.
Just 2 years ago while talking with some girlfriends (who are NOT members of the church) I discovered something rather amazing. Sex can be just as exciting and pleasurable for the woman as it is for the man! I was intrigued by this information and questioned them further. They were hesitant at first, but could tell I was in desperate need of some information.
As our conversation proceeded, I began to understand that something was drastically missing in our sex life. I had not become aroused since the early months of our marriage when kissing and touching had been such a great pleasure for both of us. Sex occurred because he wanted it. I love him and want to please him... but for me... aside from the pleasure of a few caress on my back or shoulders... sex was something I did for him.
Once my interest was peeked I began searching for answers in books and online information. Sadly, much of the world doesn't understand fidelity. I actually had a counselor I was seeing tell me to find a lover!
At that point I began buying anything LDS on the topic of intimate relationships... and so far they lack the direct approach I am seeking. I don't need someone to beat around the bush, making subtle suggestions. My husband and I need direct, gospel based information on lovemaking.
Thank you for understanding a great need in our LDS community.
Date:
January 10 2005
Name:
Mark G.
Comments:
Laura, I have read your book. I paricularily enjoyed the chapters about oneness. I have been concerned for some time that we are passing on a bad tradition of our fathers to our children about sex: Say it all in one birds and bees talk and then say no more. I surveyed 50 people asking them out of peers, school, religion, media, parents who best established their sexual concepts. Invariably, partents were last. Therefore, your last chapters about teaching our children were a heralding call to action. I think sexual education should start even earlier and continue later. The need for knowledge and its focus changes at different times in our lives. What about sex between a couple who are empty-nesters? While I greatly enjoyed your book, I can't get my wife to read it. She thinks it's just another sex book that titlates men and puts women down. I so badly want to have an open conversation leading to mutual understanding with my wife about many subjects in your book but she feels uncomfortable to talk from the heart. If women have more sexual ability than men then why do they fear it, hide it, and imput the whole subject on men? I am convinced that the key or the door to becoming an eternal seed in the Holy Order of Matrimony is finding oneness in sexuality-phsical, spiritual, and emotional. After all it seems that only those couples who find this sexual oneness can continue to have sexual and creative powers. Any suggestions for helping my wife to see the importance of your book?
Date:
December 7 2004
Name:
Brother Bastian
Comments:
Laura, I know of no one who can stay focused for so long with such constant energy. The energizer bunny hasn't anything over Laura Brotherson. Congratulations on your second printing. Good luck and best wishes. Brother Bastian
Date:
December 1 2004
Comments:
Dear Laura, I just got your book and am half way through it. I am 65 years old and wish this had been available to me 40 years ago. About 15 years ago my wife announced that she could go the rest of her life without having sex with me. That turned my lights out and I have not engaged in any sexual activity with her since. I know our relationship would have been better had we read your book back when. There have been times that I actually dreaded eternity with her, but I have stuck out the marriage. I remember many nights of her saying "no" that I was so frustrated I had to leave the bedroom and sleep on the couch. Now that I am older, I have learned to bridle my frustration and ignore her lying next to me in the king sized bed. After reading your book, I wonder if she was really as turned off by sex as she appeared. Thanks again for writing the book. It is something that should be taught in the Church YM and YW programs so there will be fewer messed up lives such as mine.
Date:
November 12 2004
Name:
Alison L.
Comments:
I just had to tell you this interesting story about your book. I was visiting with my brother-in-law while on a family vacation. He was home on leave from Iraq where he serves in the military. We got talking about books and he was telling me about this one book he's read while in Iraq. He couldn't quite remember the title, but after describing it to me I thought...it couldn't be...then I said, "That book doesn't happen to be called 'And They Were Not Ashamed' by Laura Brotherson does it?" He incredibly said yes! He was stunned to learn that you were a good friend of mine and that you just live down the street from me. What a small world!
He then relayed the following: He had come across the book somehow and felt impressed to get it. Wherever he had tried to order it they wouldn't send it to Iraq (I don't think he got it from your website), so he had it sent to his home, and gave his wife instructions to simply send this package on to him in Iraq. But his wife opened it and was a bit surprised at first, then began reading it. She couldn't put it down! She went out and bought three more copies for each of their young children to give to them when they are older. Then she sent the book to her husband in Iraq.
My brother-in-law would read it during work sometimes, and a bunch of his co-workers would often gather. They had quite the discussions! A bunch of his co-workers want to order it as well. My brother-in-law would crack up when telling me about these rough and tough guys who were talking trash one minute then talking about emotional intimacy and love languages in the next breath. Just thought you'd appreciate knowing how your book is blessing lives all across the world.
Date:
October 23 2004
Name:
Shannon Wilcox
Comments:
Laura, David and I love your book. I am so glad that you were bold enough to write what you did. Love making does make you one, but what better way than to please each other. My husband finds as much enjoyment in pleasing my needs as I do in pleasing his. It is what makes us one and draws us so close together. I am thankful that Heavenly Father didn't just make it all for him and created my body to respond with pleasure as well. I can't imagine it being just onesided. Thanks for the information you have given in this book. I think it is fabulous and I do share it with others quite often. Way to go Girl!!!
Date:
October 9 2004
Name:
Rebecca Parker
Comments:
Just finished reading your book...WOW!!!!!!!!!!! The book was amazing I READ IT IN JUST THREE DAYS. What a gift you are giving. The book I purchased will be helpful to me and Mom too (she needs the whole thing.) I hope I can get dad to read it. I will be sending a note about it to Dr. Laura Schlesinger? ? You know the radio counselor. This needs to get out and I needed the book more than I realized. The book as I read it really came across as teaching that while the physical connection is vital to keeping a marriage strong. What is truly NECESSARY and sorely lacking (with the physical distance just a symptom) is Emotional and Spiritual connection between spouses. Also I definitely agree with the statements in the book about loving touch and how necessary it is in our lives. Here in America we just don?t pay half enough attention to that need. And I doubt if many who are here really know what?s missing. This book will definitely guide many couples home to each other ? provided we can get them to read it!
Date:
September 21 2004
Name:
S&J
Comments:
After reading a review of your book in Meridian Magazine, we bought it as a guide for discussions with our five children, ages 2-13. We have only read about a third of the book and it has already resulted in a dramatic change in our marital relationship. Neither of us has ever had any guilt about intimacy, but we have allowed it to become lower on our priority list as demands have increased.
The reading is wonderful, but the homework is what has caused the change. We have both reconnected and are experiencing more day-to-day joy in all facets of our relationship. Your book brings together a lot of information that we have heard or known about, and coordinates it all in a practical and gospel centered fashion. We bought the book to fill one need, but have found that it magnificently fills another need of which we were almost unaware.
Despite being educated people, we are learning things about ourselves and each other that have been hidden in shadows for the last 17+ years of marriage.
Thank you for spending the time, making the sacrifices, and having the courage to write this book.
Date:
September 19 2004
Name:
Terry F.
Comments:
I just bought the book yesterday at Times and Seasons bookstore in Auburn, Washington. (Either the book's been flying off the shelves or else they're woefully understocked, because that's the only copy they had.) I hadn't necessarily planned on buying it, honestly, but I remember reading excerpts on Meridian Magazine and being quite impressed by your joyously positive approach to the subject--but the clincher was that just two days before, my wife and I had talked about the need to bring back the intimacy which has all but vanished. (We have been married twelve years, and since our twins were born eight years ago, we have remained pretty much celibate.) The excuses are numerous--too tired, too warm, too busy with work and school, the kids make it hard to get in the mood, and so forth. This book may be just what we need to bring the passion back into our marriage. So far I like what I see, especially since it is not just another "sex book"; it seems to deal with the whole package of sex, marriage, emotional challenges (which we both struggle with), and spiritual wholeness. Thank you for your dedication to this vital subject. After all, if we and our children don't get it from those on the Lord's side, we'll get it from the other side by default. I'll post back soon with further comments when I've finished the book.
