CONTENTS
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1~ MARRIAGE TIP--"How to Feel More Amorous"
2~ ARTICLE--"God's Wedding Gift--Why Save
Sex for Marriage"
3~ EVENTS--BYU Education Week Booksigning, Couples' Cruise
4~ NEWS--Weekly Radio Show; DeseretBook.com Article; 3rd
Printing
5~ READERS' COMMENTS --"I have learned what married sex
could
and should be like."
6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A--"Safe place to find
lingerie...?"
7~ WORDS TO PONDER--lifetime contract; marriage achievement
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1~
MARRIAGE TIP--"How to Feel More Amorous"
"I was
never in the mood, and I didn't know how to get there. I wanted
to have
that closeness with my husband, but just didn't know how to
get my body
to want it."
"I'm just not a
sexual person."
These are some of the
common complaints I hear from women who would like
to be more "into"
intimacy with their husbands, but just don't feel like they are
ever in
the mood or that they even have the capacity to be in the mood. Feeling
amorous and sexy is a state of mind that must be nurtured. For women
sex
begins in the mind. Women often need to be proactive in generating
sexual
thoughts and feelings, and developing their sexuality.
Feeding her mind with intimate, romantic thoughts about her husband,
and
letting those emotions begin to stir her heart can help a woman
feel more
sexy and amorous as a person. The counsel so often given
to control or inhibit
sexual thoughts and feelings may be
helpful for men, whose primary challenge
is often to control
their sexuality, but is often counterproductive
for many
women, whose primary challenge is to
awaken and free their
sexuality.
Women need to know that sexuality
is good and of God. They then need to
welcome sexual thoughts and feelings
toward their spouse, as they seek to
cultivate a
state of mental preparation for sexual expression.
A universal change in focus from wanting to want "sex" to wanting to
want
"your husband" is needed to personalize sexual desire, and give it
a richer
intent. This mental switch can help encourage sexual feelings and allow
amorous desire for
your spouse to be a more constant companion.
2~ ARTICLE--"God's Wedding Gift--Why Save Sex for
Marriage"
Don't miss our recent Meridian Magazine article "God's Wedding
Gift--Why
Save Sex for Marriage." You can find it here:
http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/050802gift.html.
Here are some
highlights from the article:
“Sex is
worth waiting for, worth learning about, and worth developing
solely
within the intimate, committed and connected relationship that
exists
only within marriage."
"The quick thrill of succumbing to a sexual experience pales in
comparison to the permanent thrill of overcoming great odds to
maintain
sexually purity for marriage."
"Condoms do nothing to protect one from the psychological ravages
of
sex outside the bonds of marriage."
"Parents must believe sex is something worth waiting for, if they want
to be effective at convincing their children."
"Parents are still the most influential factor in teens’ decisions
about
sex."
"Those who save sex for marriage can also be absolutely sure that
sex
within marriage will be the best they’ve ever had!"
3~
AUTHOR EVENTS--
BYU Education Week Booksigning;
Couples' Caribbean Cruise
"Meet
the Author"/Booksigning — Thursday, Aug 18, 5 - 7 p.m.
BYU Bookstore, BYU Campus Education Week (Provo, Utah)
If you will be in Utah at the time of BYU Education Week, be sure to
stop by
the BYU Bookstore to say hello, and if you have not
already
done so, pick up a copy of our book "And They Were
Not Ashamed."
(Click here for a campus map--Bldg #14: http://map.byu.edu/Map.html)
Couples'
Caribbean Cruise--Valentine’s Day Week
(February 11-18, 2006)
Here is the perfect Christmas gift and Valentine's Day gift for your
sweetheart--a romantic Couples' Cruise getaway with Stephen Lamb,
M.D. and Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE as speakers. Don't wait 'til the
last minute to reserve your place on this fabulous cruise. Register by
September 15th to get this great price, and to be assured a place with
this group. The demand for cruises has increased and you don't want
to miss out. For details visit our Events page:
http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php
or click here for a
Couples' Cruise flyer: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/cruise.htm
For information about
additional author events visit our "Events"
page:
http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php
4~ NEWS--Weekly Radio Show; DeseretBook.com Article; 3rd
Printing
(1)
Weekly Radio Show about Intimacy. Dr. Liz Hale and author,
Laura
M. Brotherson enjoy a thought-provoking discussion each week on
the
delicate, yet vital topic of sexual intimacy in marriage. Tune in
every
Thursday from 10:30 - 11:45 a.m. on Utah's AM820 or online at
http://www.UtahAM820.com/listen.php.
Recent topics have included:
* How to Feel Sexy
* The Power of Touch
* Why Save
Sex for Marriage
* Seeking Professional Help--When, Why & How
* Learning to Enjoy Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
* The Dangers of Sexual Dissatisfaction
On the http://www.UtahAM820.com/listen.php
page click on the link
"Download the FREE Real One Player here" to download the media
player (check your
pop-up blocker), then tune in each week. For more
information visit: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php
(2) Articles on DeseretBook.com. "The Adventure of
Marriage" article
was recently picked up by
DeseretBook.com. You can check it out at:
http://deseretbook.com/mormon-life/news/story?story_id=6739
(3) "And They Were Not Ashamed" Preparing for 3rd Printing.
We are
excited to be preparing for the third printing of "And They Were
Not
Ashamed--Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment." We
appreciate your enthusiasm for this book, and hope you'll continue to
share this valuable resource, and bless many lives. We will only be
printing the softcover books (and CD audio book), so if you want a
hardbound copy be sure to get your copy today at:
http://inspirebook.com/product_info.php?cPath=22&products_id=28
5~ READERS'
COMMENTS --"I have learned what married sex could
and should
be like."
"I used
to be so full of anger and resentment every time my husband
and I were
intimate. I wanted my husband's sex drive to disappear! I
thought I
would be fine to never have sex again. I was never able to
see sex an
as expression of love. To me it was just a way of satisfying
carnal
lust....Since you and your book have helped me so much I
wanted you to
know how wonderful things are now....I finally feel like
sex is the
ultimate way for me to express my love to my husband AND
for me to feel
love from him....I feel like I was given permission to
enjoy and be
grateful for my sexuality....My
husband asked me not too
long ago what happened...I told him that I had
made the choice to
make intimacy an important part of our marriage.
This has empowered
me. I have learned what married sex could and should
be like. I have
even learned to appreciate my husband's sex drive and
his masculinity.
Also, reading about teaching my children about sex
made me change
too. I realized that I wanted my daughters to love sex.
How could I tell
them it was wonderful if I didn't believe that
myself?...I am so thankful
for you and your book."
We welcome you to
share your comments at:
www.strengtheningmarriage.com/comments.php.
6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A--"Is there a safe place to buy
lingerie
on the internet?"
Question:
Is there a safe place to go to buy lingerie on the internet? I'm
afraid of running
into people I know in stores who may not understand,
and online I feel like I
am viewing pornography when looking for
lingerie.
Answer:
This is a tricky question. Most every sexual question that could be
asked
requires some careful personal consideration of yourself, your
spouse, your
relationship and your vulnerabilities. I definitely
recommend seeking divine
guidance on this or any sensitive and delicate
question. Even the question
of using lingerie itself within the
intimate relationship is very personal and up
to the individual and
couple. Lingerie can be useful for women in helping
them feel more
amorous and sexy. Men tend to be stimulated visually, so
lingerie is often a welcome addition to lovemaking. But every couple
must
determine what they are comfortable with, and what they feel is
acceptable
within the intimate relationship of marriage.
The only truly "safe" place to shop for lingerie is in a regular
department
store. Thankfully most department stores from Dillards to Wal-mart
carry
nice lingerie, so you don't have to shop in questionable outlets. The
benefit of
shopping in actual stores is not having to see
real people dressed in the
outfits, but there
is that chance of running into someone you know. If a couple
has
determined that lingerie is an acceptable part of intimacy, and has a
conviction of the goodness of sexual intimacy in marriage then they
need not
be ashamed if they do happen to run into someone they know! It
might even
be beneficial in helping to overcome unnecessary
inhibitions about sex.
Finding lingerie online can be quite tricky. I am not familiar with
everything
that might be available online, but I believe there are a
few Christian sites
that use only mannequins to model their lingerie. While I have not
reviewed
this entire site and every product, this is one site that seems to be
the safest
so far for lingerie: www.theactofmarriage.com
(click on "Lingerie").
Other sites
blur their photos to make them as appropriate as possible, but still
may be
too
risky.
While women can be at risk with regard to visual sexual material, they
tend to
be less susceptible, and may find it safer to shop online than
their husbands.
Again, every couple needs to be
aware of their individual weaknesses and
susceptibility to sexual
information of any kind, to be sure that it does not
detract from or
weaken the sexual relationship of husband and wife. The
intent of any sexual "addition" to lovemaking should be to strengthen
the
relationship and allow greater intimate enjoyment of each other.
7~
WORDS TO PONDER--lifetime contract; marriage achievement
"Motto
for the bride and groom: We are a work in progress with a
lifetime
contract."
Phyllis Koss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The development of a really good marriage is not a natural
process.
It is an achievement."
David and Vera
Mace
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"Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage" is an electronic
newsletter
designed to strengthen your marriage and family—written by the author
of the
book " And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through
Sexual Fulfillment." Visit www.StrengtheningMarriage.com
for excerpts and
reviews, or to place an order or post a comment. The author welcomes
your
feedback at Laura@StrengtheningMarriage.com
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